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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060745">adderall xR</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybersasuke/pseuds/dia'>dia (cybersasuke)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Basically, College, Drinking, Friends With Benefits, Grindr, LISTEN if naruto were real he’d juul and have a rainbow LED setup, M/M, Marijuana, Online Dating, Recreational Drug Use, References to Addiction, basically my commentary on the life that me and the ppl i know live, but like coping with trauma bonds edition, its bad and destructive but funny!!!, lesbians love sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:08:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,070</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060745</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybersasuke/pseuds/dia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke had received a considerable amount of absurd Grindr messages over the years. This one was… significant.</p><p>hey i see you’re 98 feet away from me so i have a proposition for you ok. im eating ramen and i want something to drink with it but all i have is open orange soda from a halloween party and i dont wanna drink that. SO… if you go to 7/11 and get me a double gulp horchata i will suck your cock</p><p>—</p><p>or: sasuke and naruto naturally attract wild things (each other) because they’re batshit college kids with zero shame and zero reservations</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>175</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>girl ive been dojgn lines of adderall off my naruto rolling tray and it made me write this. </p><p>-  </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://fullhousecast.tumblr.com/post/641641672974974976/gay-irl">inspiration</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke knew he was generally wanted. He had received a considerable amount of absurd Grindr messages over the years. This one was… significant.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>hey i see you’re 98 feet away from me so i have a proposition for you ok. im eating ramen and i want something to drink with it but all i have is open orange soda from a halloween party and i dont wanna drink that. SO… if you go to 7/11 and get me a double gulp horchata i will suck your cock</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Okay. Several comments and concerns.</p><p> </p><p>It was ten A.M. He only had open soda from Halloween and it was February. This gorgeous fucking man would give him top for <em> Horchata. </em></p><p> </p><p>Sasuke <em> knew </em> the dude smelled good simply by seeing his pictures. Just by looking, he had to guess spicy cologne and mint aftershave. He was <em> six foot two. </em> Sasuke always preferred tall guys to his five foot seven. The blonde wore the douchey orange bandana pulled across his forehead offensively well. The white hoodie made his warm complexion glow- he frowned when he noticed <em> DELTA SIGMA TAU </em> printed across the breast.  Sasuke had a fucking <em> weakness </em> for frat dick. It was so toxic. He swore it off his sophomore year. Frat boys were generally psychopaths. He was fairly confident in that assessment. He was about to graduate Magna Cum Laude with a philosophy-psychology double major, after all.</p><p> </p><p>The next picture made Sasuke lose it. The guy, Naruto, was wearing a long red coat and a black beanie. Sasuke saw this dude on campus <em> every day. </em> He’d had at least a couple classes with him in the past. He had worn that coat and hat every day that current winter.</p><p> </p><p>He saw the back of this kid’s fucking head constantly. There was no doubt. Not only that, his apartment was apparently right down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m 70% sure you’re in my abnormal psych class. What are you doing? the exam starts in forty minutes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke kissed his teeth and pulled on his boots. He’d consider buying the moron his Horchata after there was a 150/150 point score in the gradebook. The response came momentarily.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bah dude thast tomorrow </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nah*</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>wait</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>WAIT</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Get dressed, dumbass. I’m taking the bus if you want to join me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>im failing see u tbere</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was beaming. He never fucking <em> beamed.</em> This was the himbo of his dreams. <em> Please don’t be a fuckboy. </em></p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna shit myself, dude,” was the greeting Sasuke received.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke frowned. “Then shit.” Naruto was wearing grey sweats and a baggy sweatshirt with Nikes. No gloves to be seen. “You need a coat, idiot. It’s negative two out.” It was the first time he had seen Naruto without his red coat and beanie.</p><p> </p><p>“The panic of failing this exam is numbing the cold.” Those blue of his eyes were more reflective than the diamond-dusted sheet of snow covering the yard of their apartment building. His grey sweats were shattering Sasuke’s personal code of ethics. “How many points is it worth?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so fucked. One-fifty. True or false: BusPar is the least addictive anxiety medication.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto huffed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. His teeth were rattling from cold and anticipation. “False?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tightened his scarf. “Holy fuck, dude.” It was hard to smell in the cold, but Sasuke was sure he caught grapefruit and strong linen. Clean and soothing. Fucking succulent.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit.” </em>He grinned handsomely, frantically. “I’m so dehydrated. No more stress- I’m just gonna not think about it. How has your day been?” </p><p> </p><p>He took a couple long gulps from his coffee before donating it to the dumb fuck who was practically cracking the pavement with the intensity of his shivering. “Fine, thanks for asking. I finished up my laundry and did a couple assignments for this elective I’m taking. How about you?”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto was squeezing the metal mug, palms leeching the heat. “It’s only eleven a.m!” He tipped the coffee to his lips and tore it away just as quickly. “What the fuck, this is <em> hellfire!” </em> </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t drink coffee unless it’s as hot as possible.” If his coffee lost even a degree of heat, it went in the microwave. He wasn’t satisfied unless he was boiling his gut. “What do you mean, ‘it’s only eleven’? I’m pretty sure messaging guys on Grindr for Horchata to go with your ramen is weirder than doing laundry.”  </p><p> </p><p>“You’re buying me Horchata after this.” Naruto had pulled the sweater over his nose to warm his frozen face, cradling the coffee to his chest. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s nose was beat red cold. It was doing things to Sasuke.</p><p>—<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>follow me on <a href="https://cybersasuke.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and get to know me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With slow and heavy strokes, Sasuke smoothed his hands down Naruto’s back. “You’re not that weird. Once, when he was fourteen, my older brother crashed our high school’s entire online database with malware and got away with it. He said he did it for fun.”</p><p>“What the fuck? I’m obsessed with that.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello reddit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—</p><p> </p><p>“Stop doing Adderall.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s my prescription. I have terrible ADHD. I’m allowed to do it.” </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not supposed to snort it, Naruto.” Sasuke tried to wipe the blue powder off of Naruto’s nose. It smudged above his top lip.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto sniffed loudly, clearing his sinuses. “It kicks in faster this way. This essay is due in two hours but I can’t fucking focus. This is hell on earth.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke frowned and pet Naruto’s head. He couldn’t imagine living life without his razor-sharp focus and discipline. Naruto was physiologically unable to hone in on his responsibilities. His Adderall barely did anything for him. It was better than nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need any help?” He noticed that the skin around Naruto’s helix piercing was a bit red. He knew the blonde had fallen asleep with it in again, despite his frequent complaining about the irritation it caused. Sasuke removed it and rubbed the cartilage. </p><p> </p><p>A half a page stared back at them. “...Maybe? This shit just doesn’t capture my interest. Looking for sources is like pulling fucking teeth.”</p><p> </p><p>Tedious work was almost torture for Naruto. It was actually painful to sit still for him. Sasuke was generally selfish, but he’d spend a century slogging through articles and case studies if it meant Naruto was a bit calmer. Anything for this fucking brainlet who uses Grindr as a food delivery app.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke kissed the side of Naruto’s face, plucked the straw off of the desk, and slammed a couple of the blue lines in front of the blonde’s keyboard. “Just send me the rubric and any other shit you think I’ll need.”</p><p> </p><p>“You hypocrite! Don’t do my Adderall if you’re gonna tell me not to.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wriggled his nose, wincing at the burn. “I’m not gonna get addicted, I can work for ten hours straight without it. The Adderall is just my fee for doing your work, idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto turned his chair and latched his arms around Sasuke’s hips, resting his temple on his gut. “I’d fucking die without you, dude. I’m so glad you put up with me even though I’m a freak.”</p><p> </p><p>With slow and heavy strokes, Sasuke smoothed his hands down Naruto’s back. “You’re not that weird. Once, when he was fourteen, my older brother crashed our high school’s entire online database with malware and got away with it. He said he did it for fun.”</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck? I’m obsessed with that. How old is he?”</p><p> </p><p>“Itachi? He’s gonna be twenty seven in June.” His brother didn’t look a day over twenty. “He’s fucking weird as shit, but he’s my ride or die. He’s probably one of the smartest people in history.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dude! Invite him over.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? No. He’s working.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto pulled the phone out of Sasuke’s back pocket and unwrapped himself from his body. Sasuke lunged for it, but Naruto put up a hand. “Don’t even try it. You know I’ll win.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke considered this. Once Naruto committed to something, he’d go as far as to lose his right arm to get it. He wasn’t getting that phone back. “Ugh.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto grinned. “I win.” he turned on the phone and said, <em>“Call Itachi.”</em></p><p> </p><p>His brother picked up after a solid six seconds. “Sasuke,” came his level voice as greeting.</p><p> </p><p>“Nii-san-“</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” Naruto poked him in the side, making him grunt. “Itachi, hey! What are you up to?”</p><p> </p><p>Despite a stranger apparently commandeering his little brother’s phone, Itachi didn’t miss a beat. “I’m on my way to pick up some things for dinner. I’m thinking of making salmon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck me, you’re making me hungry!”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke groaned. “Naruto.”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi’s chuckle sounded tinny from the phone speakers. “May I ask who I’m speaking to?”</p><p> </p><p>The blonde grinned at the phone. “I’m Naruto! I met your brother on Grindr.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke bounced his skull off the wall in frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“I see.” Sasuke could see the shithead’s grin in his mind’s eye. “How can I help you, Naruto?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come over,” he demanded. “You sound batshit and I love it. I gotta hang out with you. Fuck the salmon, I’ll get Papa Johns.”</p><p> </p><p>“Papa Johns is foul,” Itachi commented.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to come,” Sasuke cut in. “I know you’re probably wiped from work. Sorry that this idiot is inconveniencing you.”</p><p> </p><p>“How many times do I have to tell you, Otouto? You’re never an inconvenience. I always have time for you.” Naruto was muttering about Papa Johns being delicious. Both Uchihas ignored it. “I’ll be there in about an hour. I’d be happy to meet you, Naruto.”</p><p> </p><p>__</p><p> </p><p>Itachi arrived in his Princeton sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Sasuke smiled- this meant Itachi already liked Naruto. The older Uchiha never let anyone catch him dressed down if he didn’t trust them.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, hi!” Naruto stood and hugged Itachi. “You smell good.”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi returned the hug with a quiet laugh. “Thank you. So do you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Make yourself at home.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke clicked his tongue. “This is <em>my</em> apartment, fucker.”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi stepped towards him. “Hello, Sasuke.” The man frowned and grabbed Sasuke by the nose without warning, pinching and restricting his breathing.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Sasuke wailed in protest. Itachi was shaking his whole head by the nose. “What the fuck, ‘Tachi?”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi released his nose and flicked his forehead. “Really, Otouto? Adderall? Why are you doing drugs?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wiped his nose in embarrassment. Fuck. Itachi was probably so disappointed.</p><p> </p><p>“You want a couple bumps?” Rang Naruto’s voice from the kitchen. “It’s prescription!” He rattled the orange pill bottle.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t see why not,” responded Itachi immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s mouth fell open. “You do drugs?!” <em>What?!</em> His world was crashing down. “You piece of shit. What are you doing, giving me hell about it and doing the same thing?”</p><p> </p><p>As Naruto dumped the blue powder on the desk, Itachi accepted the credit card he was handed with elegant fingers and began pushing the medication into perfect lines with dexterous ease. “I’m grown, I can handle a line or two. That doesn’t mean I want my little brother doing it.” Itachi hoovered up the six bumps he lined up like a rocket. Leave it to that fucker to make doing speed look dignified.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto looked like he was having the time of his life. “See, this is a bonding moment! I love this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure how I feel about ‘bonding’ with my older brother over drugs.” Sasuke massaged his eye with the heel of his hand.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto frowned. “You two should know everything about each other! You’re both grown men. All you have in the end is your family- you don’t know how lucky you are to have a sibling the same age as you.”</p><p> </p><p>The two brothers looked at each other. “That’s very insightful, Naruto.” Itachi’s eyes were soft. “I agree. There is no reason for the two of us to not be close. You’re not a baby anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“...Why don’t you start coming over on Fridays?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was unbelievably happy. While he had always been close with his brother, Itachi had always handled him with kid gloves. He always got the sense that Itachi was censoring himself around his younger brother, watching his mouth and trying to withhold his negative tendencies. </p><p> </p><p>It took Naruto five minutes to get Itachi to do drugs in front of Sasuke. Seriously, what the hell? </p><p> </p><p>“I would love to.” Itachi placed his hand on the top of Sasuke’s spine, patting him on the back.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright!” Naruto cut in. “Pizza’s on the way!”</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s Papa Johns, I am going to turn your skin inside out,” Itachi informed him, sweetly.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto clapped his hands together. “Dude, you’re so fucking weird. I love you.” He made himself comfortable on the couch and slapped the cushion. “Sit down, sit down! I’ll roll a couple blunts.” His phone buzzed. “Ah! Papa Johns confirmed my order.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re a sinister kind of evil.” Itachi took a seat.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re amazing,” breathed Sasuke.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>—</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>One thing Sasuke learned about his brother is that, despite his mountainous composure and self-control, the man couldn’t handle his weed.</p><p> </p><p>“Bitch lungs,” observed Sasuke as Itachi coughed gutturally. His eyes were watering and his cheeks were flushed. Sasuke had never seen Itachi so out of sorts.</p><p> </p><p>To be fair, Sasuke also never thought he’d be hotboxing his living room with his brother. Life’s a movie.</p><p> </p><p>He wheezed as Sasuke took the blunt from him. “I haven’t smoked weed since I was in high school,” he admitted. His voice was tight and weak from the pain of the smoke.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke took an easy pull off of the Backwoods and blew the fat hit in his brother’s face. “At least I’m better than you at something.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure-“ a coughing fit cut the genius off- “that smoking is a skill to be proud of.”</p><p> </p><p>“It absolutely is,” interjected Naruto. “Your little brother rolls the cleanest blunts I’ve ever seen.”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi’s eyes were red. Sasuke wasn’t sure if they were simply dry or if they were irritated from the strength of his cough. “I can’t believe my baby brother is a stoner.” Itachi was going boneless on the couch cushions. It was rare to see him relax his practiced posture.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe my big brother is a pussy,” Sasuke shot back. Naruto crowed an, “Oh! Get his ass!”</p><p> </p><p>Itachi didn’t take the bait. “Fuck it. Give me a slice of your disgusting pizza.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto did as he was told. “Welcome to Papa’s house,” he said as he handed Itachi a paper plate.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” responded both Uchihas simultaneously.</p><p> </p><p>Itachi took a bite of the pizza. His eyes widened, and he took another. “I must be really high, because this is absolutely delicious,” he commented with his mouth full.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not the bud. Papa is just good.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the bud,” corrected Sasuke. “Itachi’s a picky asshole. Usually, he doesn’t eat pizza unless it’s authentic. He has a very refined palette. Not to mention he’d never talk with his mouth full under usual circumstances.”</p><p> </p><p>“Give me more weed,” demanded Itachi, ignoring Sasuke’s provocation. </p><p> </p><p>“Slow hits this time, bitch lungs!” Naruto cheerfully advised as he passed the pack. Itachi’s murderous glare was not nearly as effective as it usually was.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto stood and walked behind the couch, grabbing the base of Itachi’s ponytail and tugging his hair free without warning. Itachi did not comment as Naruto parted his long hair down the middle and tied one side to keep it out of the way.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” Asked Sasuke flatly. Naruto was really something special. He had known his untouchable brother for less than an hour and Itachi was already allowing him to put his hands in his hair. It made Sasuke unbelievably happy.</p><p> </p><p>“French braiding his hair,” he explained. Itachi was high as shit. He looked like he was melting. Naruto’s fingers tugged the silky locks into neat plaits.</p><p> </p><p>“...Alright.” Sasuke got to work on another blunt.</p><p> </p><p>“It feels like my head is behind my head,” observed Itachi. His eyes were still closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking what?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know exactly what you mean!” Naruto finished off the braid and started on the other side. “Sas, don’t you remember getting so high you were outside of your body? Good times. I miss being a new smoker.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke did remember this. Once upon a time, weed was like heroin. Now it took him two blunts just to feel something. Life was so unfair.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to watch <em>Long Island Medium</em>,” Declared Itachi. His tone implied that there was no room for argument on this topic.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe you hid this fucker from me for so long, Sas.” Naruto draped the twin braids over Itachi’s delicate shoulders. “He’s so fucking funny, man.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Naruto. We’ve only known each other for, what, a month?”</p><p> </p><p>“That means nothing! We’re already best friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke hid his smile behind the fresh blunt. Naruto and he had kept their relationship platonic and nonsexual, not counting the casual intimacy and occasional kisses. He was so glad he was forcing himself to take it slow. Rushing in headfirst to sex was a bad habit that he was trying to break.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re good for Sasuke,” observed Itachi. “Turn on <em>Long Island Medium</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay!” Placated Naruto.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He is good for me, isn’t he?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>Hours later, Naruto belatedly realized that he never finished his essay. Itachi finished it for him in thirty minutes and composed an email to Naruto’s professor explaining that the ‘submission failed’ when he ‘turned it in earlier’. </p><p> </p><p>Itachi ended up staying the night.</p><p> </p><p>__</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>not gonna make this much longer if this gets no comments so pls comment... it makes me feel happy &lt;3<br/>follow me on <a href="https://cybersasuke.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and get to know me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sasuke collected a few bottles of beer from the fridge, passing them around before making himself comfortable in Naruto’s lap. Naruto’s hands came to rest firm behind his back, and Sasuke clung to the blonde’s neck. He relaxed his head in the valley of Naruto’s shoulder and jaw, eyeing his new table. It was long enough for about four chairs.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my arm hurts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—</p><p> </p><p>Saturdays were a godsend.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke went to school five days a week and worked six. Saturday, his day off, allowed him to make progress on filing the endless mass of case files, billing invoices, and evidence records his father required him to file as training for when he joined the Uchiha Law Group.</p><p> </p><p>It was basically unpaid labor. Itachi had insisted on talking their father into cutting him a check for his time, and Sasuke was confident that his brother would succeed. God knew he could use the money, and Itachi was a natural born slick-talker. He had been talking circles around their lawyer father since the age of seventeen.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had finally reached the end of a stack of client intake forms and was looking forward to a few hours of wine and <em>Halo 2</em> before heading to bed. He was tired, but not exhausted. </p><p> </p><p>His phone rang, and he answered it. “Sasuke!”</p><p> </p><p>“Naruto.” Sasuke heard wind and a choir of drunk men trying their hardest to whisper. His hopes for a quiet night gently drifted out of the window. “Are you outside? It’s freezing fucking cold.”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of something tumbling to the ground. The voices swelled in volume. Naruto shushed them sharply. “Sasuke.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“We stole a table from campus.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Naruto.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“What!”</p><p> </p><p>His eyes hurt. “What fucking table did you take?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” The wind picked up. Sasuke knew that Naruto was drunk enough to not feel the stinging cold. “Oh! It says Phi Chi. Fuckin’ business frat… Business majors suck. Shou’n’tve left it. Their fault.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke <i>did</i> hate business majors. <em>“You</em> suck. How far away from Hokage Court are you?” Nobody that lived in their apartment complex would question multiple drunk frat boys stealing a table in the middle of the night. The building wasn’t in the best part of town, and it was mostly populated by unhinged seniors and people in their late thirties that never bothered to move on from their college town. </p><p> </p><p>“‘Bout to walk into the parking lot.” He gasped, then whispered, <em>“Is that a fucking cop?”</em></p><p> </p><p> Sasuke rubbed his eyes. The muscles screamed under the weight of the strain.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a Mazda, Naruto. Jesus Christ.” Shikamaru.</p><p> </p><p>“You really expect Naruto to know cars?” Temari.</p><p> </p><p>“Get your ass inside.” He wasn’t having it.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto groaned. “Fuck! I have’ta carry this shit up to the fourth floor.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bring it to mine.” Sasuke was only on the second floor. “I’m keeping the table.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke knew he would eventually get his way. Naruto was weak for him. “You don’t have room for any furniture at your apartment, nor do you at Delta Sig. I need a new table.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah!” The front door opened. Naruto was such a sunny drunk. Naruto, Temari, and Kiba muscled the table in as Shikamaru trailed behind. Gaara was the last through the door, looking down at his phone.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, forgot about the table.” Naruto’s grin was cherubic. Sasuke glowered. Naruto had spilled an entire bottle of acetone on it two weeks prior when he decided he needed to paint his nails.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate you. Make yourself comfortable, everyone.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s friends were pretty nice. Shikamaru was a sharp dude who spent most of his time silently taking in his surroundings. His quiet and inquisitive nature appealed to Sasuke. When he did talk, he was fucking hilarious. He smoked more cigarettes in a week than Sasuke would in three years and always let him bum one when asked. Shikamaru, despite being a Strategic Management major, was an excellent partner for a philosophical debate. In their four months of friendship, countless hours of riveting discussion were shared over many Marlboro Reds.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a nice table,” decided Temari.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was also a pretty big fan of Temari. After they met, Sasuke had her over a couple times for red wine and <em>Smash Bros.</em> They had bonded almost instantly over their kindred no-bullshit demeanors. The two of them weren’t close by any means, but they had a ton of fun talking shit together. Temari had insisted to Sasuke that she and Shikamaru were ‘just fucking’, but he was sure that label would be changing soon enough.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke collected a few bottles of beer from the fridge, passing them around before making himself comfortable in Naruto’s lap. Naruto’s hands came to rest firm behind his back, and Sasuke clung to the blonde’s neck. He relaxed his head in the valley of Naruto’s shoulder and jaw, eyeing his new table. It was long enough for about four or six chairs.</p><p> </p><p>“You finish your work?” Naruto’s breath smelled like Jack. Sasuke inhaled deeply, leeching up the heat from Naruto’s skin. The wood scent of the whiskey was delicious with the blonde’s aftershave. His jaw was so warm, Naruto’s stubble scratching pleasantly across Sasuke’s cheek.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Mmmhmm.” Sasuke was tired. He gulped his beer and the chill made him shiver. He tended to run cold. Naruto began rubbing his back and sides with the flats of his palms, warming Sasuke’s torso with the friction. He was always so observant of Sasuke’s body language. It was fantastic.</p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” said Gaara, who was rifling through the bottom left drawer of Sasuke’s coffee table. Sasuke had essentially absorbed Naruto’s friend group as his own; and they were over so much that he kept a dedicated drawer to throw the glasses, keys, and lighters they constantly forgot into. “Have you seen my Playstation controller?”</p><p> </p><p>“The white one?” Naruto asked as he settled Sasuke to nestle between his legs, the blonde constricting the tiny waist between his knees and bringing his feet up and across to rest in Sasuke’s lap. “Do you not remember Sai smashing it last Saturday?” Sasuke smiled as he felt the familiar pattern of Naruto braiding his hair.</p><p> </p><p>It was obvious Gaara did not. This complete loss of memory did not shock him as much as: “Wait, <em>Sai?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Kiba was looking for food in the kitchen. “Damn, Gaara, how much did you drink?”</p><p> </p><p>Gaara mouthed, <em>Sai?</em>  before huffing and picking up the TV remote. “I was only planning on having a couple Hennessy shots, but Ino kept handing me a bottle of Captain Morgans Long Island iced tea- which is fucking delicious, mind you,” Gaara cut himself off, glaring and pointing at his sister accusingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t start.” It was a warning. “It’s a fucking neanderthal’s drink.”</p><p> </p><p>Hell broke loose. </p><p> </p><p><em>“How,”</em> asked Sasuke.</p><p> </p><p><em>“What!</em> It’s so good!” Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>Temari roared, “Gin is <em>disgusting</em>-“</p><p> </p><p>“I agree,” interjected Kiba, “but the other liquors mask the taste, it’s so flavorful-“</p><p> </p><p>“Mixing five alcohols is rancid-“</p><p> </p><p>“You can <em>barely taste the alcohol,”</em> moaned Naruto, raking his hands across his eyes. “that’s why it’s so good! You need to be shot-“</p><p> </p><p>Gaara’s voice boomed above the bickering, ending the argument he himself started. “Let me finish my story.”</p><p> </p><p>The peanut gallery quieted down. Gaara turned on <em>My 600 Pound Life.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Anyways, I end up getting way drunker than I meant to. The last thing I remember was Shikamaru falling asleep under the pong table.”</p><p> </p><p>“He wasn’t even drunk,” Kiba pointed out. “He was just too lazy to walk upstairs and lay in his bed.”</p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru clicked his tongue in passive protest. He was smoking a blunt and sitting on an ottoman, playing something on his Switch. “It wasn’t out of laziness. I just like sleeping on the floor sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“In a <em>frat house?</em> You’re going to get e-coli,” said Sasuke.</p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru shrugged and gave Sasuke the blunt. “I appreciate the change of scenery.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke took a hit and blew the smoke down the collar of Naruto’s sweatshirt. He smiled into the underside of Naruto’s chin when he felt the blonde grip his waist.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Gaara, once again getting the conversation back on track. “Can we get back to the fact that Sai, of all people, broke my sixty dollar controller?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah!” Said Naruto, not taking his eyes off the TV screen. “He bought molly off of Shino and didn’t tell anyone until it kicked in.”</p><p> </p><p>“There is something fucking wrong with that kid,” commented Sasuke. He was digging the tips of his fingers into the perpetually sore muscles at the base of Naruto’s skull.</p><p> </p><p>“I love Sai,” said Naruto. “He immediately brings any occasion to a new level just by being there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we make a collective pact to restrain Sai from any drugs from here on out?” Requested Temari.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turned around in Naruto’s arms, plastering himself against his chest and closing his eyes. “Seconded.” A solemn chorus of agreement followed.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke drifted to sleep without realizing; the voices of his friends and the security of Naruto luring him to rest.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fic requests open on my <a href="https://cybersasuke.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> ! send me an idea or just get to know me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Naruto kept his lighters in a Garfield mug and his pencils in a tall glass. He had a large terrarium for his three tomato frogs on the side of his L-desk that was not occupied by his PC.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>shalom its been a minute</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, it stinks like shit in here.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Naruto wrinkled his nose. “Kiba’s girl keeps bringing a fucking hookah over. They never open a damn window.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was talking about the rotting food in the sink.” </p><p> </p><p>“Also Kiba.” Naruto led Sasuke to his bedroom on the left side of the hall. <em> No wonder Naruto is always at my place, </em>thought Sasuke. Kiba was an alright dude, but he was kind of gross.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke flopped onto the mattress as Naruto pulled his shoes off. He listlessly watched the vivid ridge of Naruto’s spine twist as the blonde undressed.  Naruto turned to him, moving towards the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s this place we’re going?” Asked Sasuke as Naruto reached under his sheets and extracted a balled up t-shirt. “I hate how you knew exactly where that was.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s called organized chaos, sweetpea.” He also stepped into sweatpants, which were formally laid to rest in the corner of his room. “We’re going to that Mexican place that’s a couple miles south of Tenchi bridge- you know, the one in the plaza? By the post office and that pottery painting place?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke clenched his teeth. ‘Sweetpea’ was Naruto’s new thing, and it made his stomach twist with affection.  “I know it. I also know that I fucking hate your Minecraft poster.”</p><p> </p><p>“You hate my Minecraft poster?” Naruto moaned with a false pout, falling on top of his friend and biting his neck. </p><p> </p><p>The scrape of teeth against his skin was nice. Sasuke tugged a lock of his hair before gently smacking the side of his head. Naruto stood and pulled his shoes back on. “I’m gonna rip that fucker off the wall one day,” he muttered.</p><p> </p><p>It was a frat guy’s room, after all. Naruto tended to keep the overhead lights off, letting his vile LED string lights and gamerbro rainbow setup illuminate the space instead. Despite the toxic implications of a rainbow keyboard, Sasuke secretly loved being cocooned in the light show. Naruto kept his lighters in a Garfield mug and his pencils in a tall glass. He had a large terrarium for his three tomato frogs on the side of his L-desk that was not occupied by his PC. Sasuke knew it was so the blonde could be within eye level of them at all times, though it was never said aloud. Naruto had the habit of peering into their enclosure while queuing for games or doing homework, baby talking to them frequently. Naruto took better care of the frogs than he did himself. It made Sasuke want to cry.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto also had multiple cork boards, which were cluttered with all sorts of photos and ornaments. The one above his desk was carpeted with due dates, mathematical formulas, definitions from his lectures- things of that category. The others held photos, movie tickets, necklaces, keyrings, and other pieces of memorabilia that Naruto coveted. The board above Naruto’s bed seemed to be rapidly swallowed up by photos of Sasuke, and it made him feel cherished.</p><p> </p><p>They were both polaroids and photos that Naruto got printed. There was Naruto and Sasuke sitting on the floor at Shikamaru’s place, Naruto speaking into Sasuke’s ear as they shared a cigarette between the two of them. Naruto’s leg was draped over Sasuke’s, and he had a hand on the blonde’s thigh. Temari has taken the photo. One was a polaroid snapped by Naruto when the two of them had been outside on the stoop of Naruto’s frat. He had been doing nothing much, just sitting stone sober and looking at his phone when Naruto took the photo. Another of him passed out on Naruto’s unmade bed after he had taken three exams in five hours. One of them together, Sasuke comfortable on Naruto’s lap as they sat before his PC; huddled up and watching the stupid show about ninjas that Naruto absolutely loved. One of Sasuke leaned over a pool table at the bar that doesn’t ID, getting ready to shoot the cue ball.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s favorite photo, though it might sound vain, was a close shot of his own face. His head had been resting on Naruto’s stomach, his eyes begging to shut under the fingers Naruto had scraping over his scalp. It was the definition of candid- Sasuke hadn’t even noticed the other man grabbing the picture- and captured a raw moment of affection between the two.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had never felt such a kindred connection to another. He offered his being to Naruto in its rawest state, and needed the other man’s energy more than he needed to respire. He would keep Naruto as a permanent fixture in his life no matter what- precisely why he insisted on keeping it platonic, despite their physical and emotional chemistry.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>“Margaritas!” Naruto demanded as they came to the table stocked full of their friends.</p><p> </p><p>Kiba and his girlfriend Hinata had already arrived, as well as Shikamaru and Temari. Sai had already beaten Naruto to the punch, about halfway done with a way-too-large strawberry margarita. Gaara and Ino were yet to arrive.</p><p> </p><p>“The margaritas here are fantastic,” greeted Sai in that mechanical and melodic tone of his. “The perfect balance of tart and sweet. I enjoy it.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s nostrils flared. Why did this guy always sound like a Skyrim NPC?</p><p> </p><p>Naruto, more used to this oddity than Sasuke, simply made a noise of interest and swiped the glass from Sai’s hand. The brunette let him, and Naruto tasted it. Sasuke watched his jaw move critically- Naruto had an odd habit of turning food around in his mouth, insisting that it helped him ‘smell’ whatever he was trying. Sasuke knew immediately that he didn’t like it from the way his lips thinned.</p><p> </p><p>He returned the drink to Sai. “Too sweet for me! I’ll have to get something with lots of lime.” He draped his jacket over the chair to Sasuke’s left and dropped his hands on his shoulders, muttering into his ear: “Pick something for me?” Sasuke nodded, and Naruto kissed him before making off to the restrooms.</p><p> </p><p>He felt eyes on him as he helped himself to chips and queso. He wrinkled his brow at the first person he returned the gaze to, which happened to be Hinata. He knew the girl was shy, but he didn’t much feel like coddling her when she stared at him so blatantly. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on between you two?” She asked softly, not bowing to her tendency to stutter. “Naruto’s usually such an open book, but he’s been vague.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke barely paused before putting a chip in his mouth, speaking around the food. He normally wouldn’t be caught dead talking with his mouth full, but these are the people who watched him vomit all over himself when they did shrooms two months ago; so he didn’t care much. “Friends,” he supplied shortly.</p><p> </p><p>“Friends with benefits?” Asked Sai. Sasuke repressed the urge to roll his eyes at the phrase. “You two <em> do </em> fuck, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but Kiba’s voice overtook his. <em> “God damn it!” </em> he barked, looking at his phone. “Naruto won’t stop fucking sending me Snapchats of him pissing! It started, like, three months ago, and now every time I get a video from him; there’s a huge chance it’s going to be of his fucking stream!”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke barely blinked. That definitely fit the category of standard Naruto behavior. He ate another chip.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I see you got my video!” Naruto’s heavy boots were audible as he approached. </p><p> </p><p>“That, and the four hundred other ones you send me every week! <em> Why, </em>man?”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiled as he took his seat. “Funny,” he grunted like a primate as explanation. </p><p> </p><p>“Stop!”</p><p> </p><p>“Do your damn dishes,” Naruto shot back.</p><p> </p><p>It <em> was </em> pretty funny, though Sasuke only communicated that opinion with a light smile. Of course Naruto detected this, because he pointed at the dark-haired man and said, <em> “See? </em> Sasuke gets it!”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s… just sitting there,” said Temari, blandly.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto hooked an arm around Sasuke’s neck, rubbing at his collarbone. “Nah, he’s grinning like a little goblin. This bastard’s just as poorly behaved as me, believe it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s true,” confirmed Sasuke. “A couple years ago, I threw a shit ton of pickle slices at the ceiling of the lounge of my old dorm. I’m pretty sure there’s still some stuck up there.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, <em> why?” </em> said Shikamaru, who had been silently puffing on a nic stick at the head of the table until that point. </p><p> </p><p>“Funny,” Sasuke replied, repeating Naruto’s earlier justification.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto nodded. “Funny.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p><br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>follow me on <a href="https://cybersasuke.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and get to know me- fic requests are open!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Naruto is an Uzumaki, Sasuke had slowly digested, then internalized. He’s an Uzumaki. Of course he is. He moves just like Karin’s mother.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I GOT MY DISPENSARY CARD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i finished my flashcards. 2500 terms. this class is miserable</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ice your hand! you’re gonna get carpal tunnel from all that writing</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>nah i have more things on my itinerary. fugaku wants me to do some gay shit for my internship</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ur gonna burn out sweetpea. text ur dad and let him know u need a break!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>nah im okay. dw about me. im resilient</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ik u are, but even u have a limit. come over! imu</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>cant. i will tomorrow though. imu too</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ok see u then</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>omg wait i have an idea</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>whats that?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>im coming over there now LOL</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>stop breaking my resolve</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto let himself in less than a minute later. He has the box of Franzia that he, Sasuke, and Karin had broke into that past Wednesday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Small universe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“This guy I met on Grindr is so fucking fine,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he had announced the day he and Naruto had met. As soon as their exam let out, he whipped his Grand Cherokee into a guest spot at Karin’s dorm and let himself in with his key.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m pissing,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Karin had greeted from the closed bathroom door in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke straight-shotted it to the bathroom and entered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Look at him. He offered to suck my dick in exchange for me picking him up a Horchata.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karin continued to piss. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Jesus fucking Christ. You fucked Naruto.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know him? And kept him </span>
  </em>
  <span>away from me?</span>
  <em>
    <span> You two fuck?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> She had pulled her underwear over her hips, face folding in on itself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you know what his last name is, dumbass?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He mimicked. His tone had spoken, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘why the fuck would I?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> where his words had not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uzumaki.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She had been watching him from the mirror as she washed her hands, surely enjoying the recognition that had crossed his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Definitely my favorite cousin. We always get super drunk together at family events and hide it perfectly in front of our relatives because we’re basically alcoholics.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Whore!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sasuke would have been shocked at the connection, if he had not possessed such a startlingly quick-witted uptake. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You kept him from me for all of these years?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karin had not taken offense- the only thing more frequent than Sasuke calling her a whore was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>calling Sasuke a whore. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes? I didn’t want you to catch feelings for Naruto. He’s basically my brother. We used to play RuneScape until six am when we were, like, twelve. Minato would always let him get away with it, but Naruto would slam his laptop shut and have a heart attack if he heard Aunt Kushina’s footsteps. She was very serious about fixing his sleep schedule.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Naruro liked RuneScape? Sasuke loved RuneScape. He had fallen into a dissociative episode of chronic mining on his favorite server during his parent’s clean separation.</span> <span>Fugaku and Mikoto were still business partners and worked closely, but Mikoto had understandably tired of Fugaku’s egocentric narcissism after sixteen years of marriage. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s parents were intelligent people. They handled the split quietly and out of the eyes of their sons, staying logical and objective. Their husk of a relationship was entirely secondary to the comfort of their boys. Sasuke was also an intelligent person. They had sat him down at Madara’s ancient executive desk, which Mikoto had redone with black heirloom paint, and had him write his own custody contract. He was sixteen. His parents made no demand for more weekends or longer weeks. It was up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had gone fucking nuts for two months mining on RuneScape. He spent so much time doing it that he basically held a monopoly on rare ore on the server.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chose dad’s house on weekends. Mostly for the pool at his new house. He was with mom for the rest of the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Itachi was on the cusp of turning twenty two and had already invested in land an hour away from the city where the firm was, evenly isolated on all sides by: a neighboring stable for racehorses, which a man named Juugo raised as a hobby; acres of field which alternated growing soybeans and corn every other year, a dilapidated barn which was not particularly unsightly, and a neighboring red mansion which was owned by some young investor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Itachi raised five hens and grew San Marzano tomatoes for Sasuke alongside a couple patches of peppers. Sasuke and Itachi were known for their infinite resistance to pain and spice. They were twins when they ate, utensils in their dominant hands and a green chili in the other. A bite off the pepper with each bite of whatever they were eating. When he had bought the house, Sasuke’s room had been finished foremost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He specified that he would most likely spend most of his time at Itachi’s as he was so inclined. He spent his teenage years in his bedroom at his older brother’s, ignoring Itachi and wasting his time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto is an Uzumaki, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sasuke had slowly digested, then internalized. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s an Uzumaki. Of course he is. He moves just like Karin’s mother.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had a terrible tendency to overthink. This entire period of reminiscence occurred in the brief few minutes it took Naruto to peel that fucking black and orange coat he wore when he played basketball off and fill two glasses to the tap with pink wine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me that shit,” griped Sasuke. “God damnit.” His tendons pulsed in his left wrist from his hours spent writing dense paragraphs on flashcards. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He drained half- Franzia was basically strawberry soda, and he hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still have shit to do.” It was somewhere between an exhausted complaint and a firm warning. “Don’t distract me. Get me drunk. I have a case study to write.” He kissed Naruto, the sugary wine on his mouth coating the seam of Naruto’s lips. Sasuke experienced taste and touch viscerally. The temperature and the sweetness was a sensory snapshot, a new circumstance with Naruto which he would always remember in specific detail. The sourness on his tastebuds intensified as it touched the inside of his friend’s mouth. The very faint carbonation stung the bones of his gums at the back of his teeth. The oven light was on, a dampened orange under the even sallower overhead kitchen lamps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto held his head. “Look at you.” Sasuke’s hair was pushed off of his forehead, and Naruto combed it with his hands. He kissed Sasuke’s lips like a woodpecker drumming a tree, rapidly and repeatedly. “You’re so cute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was wearing the tye dye shirt he had been forced to wear on an eighth grade trip to Iwagakure, which still fit him well. His sweats were blotched red with accidental bleach stains. He had, honest-to-god, not washed his hair in four days. “Thanks,” he said, flatly, warming anyways. “Sit your ass down and distract yourself. Don’t try to pull me away from my shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke was in his friend’s arms forty minutes later. Naruto brought chicken strips. The case study wasn’t due for another week, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if I could learn how to crack people’s necks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had been facing the wall for the better part of an hour. Naruto was curled around his back, holding his phone over his face and watching some crime documentary about a girl named Jodi who killed her boyfriend. Sasuke had been falling in and out of sleep. Summer had been in full swing for almost a week, and the two of them hadn’t left Sasuke’s place once during that time- when his last lecture let out, Naruto had made multiple trips up and down the stairs transporting his PC, Playstation, frogs, and microwaveable meals from his apartment to Sasuke’s. They had been doing jack fucking shit, changing from one set of pajamas to the next and binging in their lethargy. It was a hazy pocket of solitude where time was nothing but the darkening and lightening of the space behind Sasuke’s curtains.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Night one had been Fireball shots. Night two had been Fireball shots and rum. The third was spent breaking in Sasuke’s new impulse buy, a four foot bong he was yet to name; and barrelling through Dark Souls III until the sun came up and their heads pounded from the smoke. They were both ridiculously calculative and dextrous that they made absurd amounts of progress in those cloudy, near-coma hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On night four, Sasuke showed Naruto </span>
  <em>
    <span>Legally Blonde</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the first time. Naruto was working on a square bottle of Jack he had bought the week before- he had finished over half already- while Sasuke had opted not to drink that night. He was kind of fucking beat from marathon smoking and soul grinding, and this was the only night thus far where Sasuke tapped out. They went to bed, Sasuke easily passing out, clinging to Naruto’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was currently noon on a Tuesday. Empty cups of iced coffee were dripping condensation on the poorly-maintained surface of Sasuke’s nightstand. They had paid seven dollars for delivery rather than driving five minutes and picking it up themselves. The hollow of Sasuke’s cheek fit across the bump of Naruto’s collarbone like the contours were carved to click together, his temple pressed under the blonde’s adam’s apple. The laid on their sides, front-to-front, Sasuke’s head turned towards the ceiling to view Naruto’s phone screen passively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna ask to crack my neck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto flicked out of his documentary and opened his browser. Sasuke watched as the blonde searched, ‘how tocraxk aomeon es neck’. His fingers always typed faster than his brain. “Yep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke huffed. “Fine. Don’t fucking paralyze me.” His neck hurt as is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto moved to sit up on the center of the bed, legs folded under himself. “Wait- fuck. Good point. Damn Google won’t give me any tutorials, it’s apparently dangerous to fuck around with people’s bones if you’re not a doctor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Sasuke put his head on Naruto’s thigh. “Try Bing. I swear to god, you could look for a tutorial to build a fucking atom bomb and it would be the first result.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heard!” He smoothed the blanket in front of him; clicked around in his phone. “Bing says lay down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crown of his scalp bumped Naruto’s kneecaps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think we’re, like, addicts?” Asked Naruto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All we’ve done this week is drink and smoke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s summer.” It was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s all we ever do.” Naruto set his phone next to the side of Sasuke’s head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto hand gripped his jaw, the other palm on the back of his head. “Isn’t that all </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>our age does? Like, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>kind of </span>
  </em>
  <span>hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t get fucked up constantly.” The hands were pressing his upper and lower jaw together, so Sasuke spoke through his teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Sakura? She </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathes </span>
  </em>
  <span>her major. She might as well already be a doctor! I’ve never seen her stay at a party past one AM.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto was counting Sasuke’s vertebrae with his fingertips. “Sakura does a shit ton of coke,” said Sasuke, tiredly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto wasn’t necessarily shocked, his eyes lighting up from the recognition.  “That makes so much sense!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like, it’s actually sad.” He straightened his spine further, attempting to minimize the potential risk of Naruto paralyzing him. “It exceeds doing a couple bumps before an exam. I think she’s on, ‘I do coke to do my laundry’ mode.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s grown.” Naruto tilted his neck slightly, but it didn’t crack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna give her heart palpitations!” He briefly abandoned his neck to push Sasuke’s hair off of his head, tucking it away to see the flexion of his jaw and nape. “She seriously needs to stop. Fucking with street drugs is not a sustainable way to live.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve done acid together, like, four times?” Sasuke pointed out. “I’ve 100% seen you do coke at Delta Sig.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve done coke </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, it’s like you with drinking, then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch. Fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I say it because I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s intake of breath was painstakingly measured. “I know. I love you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re honest with each other. There’s no question.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for your patience,” mumbled Sasuke, eyes slipping closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Patience?” His thumbs pressed Sasuke’s eyes, between the crease of the lid and the ridge of his orbital bone. It hit the pressure of his sinus headache like a bullseye. “I’m not waiting for anything. Anything’s enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know it’s me.” Sasuke clasped the back of Naruto’s hands, pausing them. They remained over his eyes. “I have to figure shit out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t phrase it like that. You haven’t done anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I chose to fuck around with narcissists. I have trust issues because I pursued shit people. I can’t subject you to my anxiety and commitment issues.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a clinical empath, Sasuke. You attract narcissists by nature. You know this now. You’ve made leaps and bounds detaching yourself from fucking abusive fuckboys. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that you’re attracted to charisma and humor, and you can recognize these people now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if you’re a narcissist?” Devil’s advocate was the best way to verbalize his paranoia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see where you’re coming from.” The blonde tapped his friend’s shoulder, and Sasuke immediately perceived this to be a request to sit up. Sasuke did, Naruto nodded his head, and Sasuke hugged him. He sat on Naruto’s legs with his thighs on either side of his lap. They tugged one another towards each other seamlessly, each man’s forehead resting on the other’s shoulder. “I promise I’m not. I expect nothing from you, and I will always respect your boundaries.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to have boundaries with you.” It was a dull complaint, muted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need them.” Naruto kissed his skin through the fabric of his shirt. “You need a break from sex and involved passion. Let me give you a break. I’ll give you empathy back tenfold.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I do. I want to. It’s a process. I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to make peace with my coping mechanisms.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So do you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up.” He bit Naruto’s lip. “No alcohol tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yessir.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://cybersasuke.tumblr.com/post/648638670389329920/megan-thee-stallion-x-uchiha-sasuke-sway-freestyle">stream my sasuke x megan edit</a>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <a>send me an ask/fic request</a></p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im a whore</p><p>read my other sns fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147550/chapters/66296887"> marble caskets and silver urns</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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